A couple of weeks ago I lost a good friend of mine, a friend in HoPE.
A darling lady whose daughter was born with the same diagnosis as my daughter. We met online because we both had babies due in September, hers with a devastating diagnosis, the same as my daughter. The world of online support groups was unknown to her at the time as it is most new special needs moms.
She quickly took the online forums by storm! Right out of the gates she because a very faithful, reliable source of support. Always the first to speak to new moms when they joined the group. The first to offer prayers and lend a sympathetic ear.
She had met a few mothers in person and developed deep, lasting friendships with them. They all had children that were the same age, all with the somewhat rare diagnosis. They lived near enough to each other for somewhat frequent visits and talked often.
She passed away unexpectedly, just a few weeks shy of her only child’s 2nd birthday.
My little support group was shattered.
I have connections with her husband and sister online and I will be honest, I have never ever seen so many kind things said about one single person than I have about Rachel. It’s incredible. The outpouring was stunning.
But more than that, I am trying to figure out why it’s been so difficult to process this loss. In this environment we lose children all the time. All the time. Survival statistics about children with Dylan’s diagnosis are crazy. Very few live to birth and even few live 60 six months. We are continuously having children introduced and taken away. So why was this so hard for everyone to process?
How cruel is it that we are more prepared to deal with the loss of a child than we are the loss of a mother? I don’t even know if this applies to anyone but me.
Regardless – I am so happy that I got to spend 2+ years getting to know one of the nicest people I have never actually met. I will treasure her words and her sweet spirit and can’t wait to watch her sweet baby Jane grow and continue to astound doctors with a special angel by her side.
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